Because I love him
by Brimma
Summary: Lisa has lived with Johnny as a sister and Todd visits often; together they make a makeshift family. Johnny was arrested for murders and mutilations and is now imprisoned. Lisa fought for her brother,for him to be moved to a better facility. She has won that battle but it is a hollow victory. She knows Johnny will never and should never get out; but she still loves her brother.


JTHM Fan fiction

Oc Li (Pronounced Lee) Lisa

Today Todd and I went to visit Johnny who had earned visitors. He could be visited under very special circumstance of guards and straps and low meds, lots of things, but it was face-to-face and that is important to me. This is going to sound strange but: I'm not sure why Todd wants to go but I can't imagine him not going. I try not to influence his decisions but I feel that Johnny would be heart broken if one of us didn't visit him. That must be hard for some of you to believe that a mass murder could have a heart to be broken. He dose, its very small and very polluted but he has one. I drove my little, blue car and Todd sits shotgun looking out his window, looking sad. I wanted the old truck that Johnny had but it was confiscated and so was everything else. I'm always irritated when I think about how the bastards won't let me have any of his stuff. Its just a truck and I really don't think he used it for murder in any way or to cover up, like dead bodies in the back. But its his so they took it and won't let me have it, any of it. I fought very hard to get Johnny the special help that he's getting and I know that makes a lot of you angry but you don't know the truth of who and what he is. For thoughs that don't know because you having been living on a different plant Johnny is a killer that is true and he should never be on the street that's true too but he needs help, he deveres peace. Some people will never believe that, wich is fine I don't give a damn what anyone thinks, but in some ways I do because I'm trying to educate people in Johnny. I feel like if enough people understand him, then he won't be killed before its his time. Lots of people wanted him dead the instant he was brought to trail for murder. Lots of people felt they knew all they needed to know once the first day of trail began, but I think Todd and I were able to shed some light to the court as to why he deserved some mercy and some pity.

The things John-nny use to say would make me laugh and smile but in hine sight I realize now that it was the mad ramblings of a disturbered person, they were clues to his broken mind breaking more. Its no longer funny, I love him and I wish I knew sooner that he needed help; I sometimes feel that I failed him, but don't be to hard on me I was just a kid. He would say things that made no sense, he would often have paragraphs that were extremely mixed and hard to put together. Johnny would rant ceaselessly for days; sometimes about everything other times he would focus on a few things. There were days were he hardly said a work and when he did it was sad mumbles and quiet sulking. it was the quiet moments or days that frightened me the most, they were ugenst his hyped nature I worried most about him when he would lay down and do nothing all day. I was aware he struggled with depression and I always kept a close eye on him during the bad, eerie days of strange mumbling and sobs. He would talk to people that weren't really there, or worse he would talk to inamtine objects as if they were people. Sadly, often the inadtamite objects would offend him, I'm not sure why but many of the things only Nny could heard he would become so upset. I would think his mind would try to escape with nice things but very few of his delusions would make him happy.

Let me describe the whole thing not from the begain but rather the middle

The first day of court was hell, every day in court was hell but it was pertiturly the first day was a really bad day in hell. The Proacutor said things that were hard to listen to, things that I didn't want to hear most were true making it worse. The defene was saying things that seem to make things worse but then sort of redemined himself but it was all terrible.

Basically "He is a monster and I think he should be killed immediately." said the Prosacutor

Then the Deffence "Sure hes a monster and yes he has done some horrible things. but dose he really deserve to be exucte? Probably but maybe not."

I wanted to fire him then and there but...well I wasn't sure if another person would take Johnny on as a client.

The first day was either trying to look into his past and condem him for everything or try to exsplain away everything he has done. I tried not to sugar coat things but I had to defend my brother the best I could and I continue to protect him the best I can. Todd quietly loves his brother and does his best to defended him as fairly as he can. Johnny to his credit was quite for most of the trail but I really did not think he could control himself for the whole day. But finally he made an outburst when the Prosecutor said Johnny was 'unstableand cannot be trusted..." He got no farther, Johnny can outshout anybody.

**"_Fuck you!_ You don't know shit about me!"**

Yes, when Johnny wants to be heard there is nothing that can be done to stop him. The judge, of course was pissed, livid and order Johnny to be removed. Strangely Johnny gave no resistance, I think he knew he was wrong to shout, not sorry, but understood at the very least it was rude; Johnny despises rudeness. The day was ruined the court could not pull itself together after that outburst.

The second day was bad enough to make me cry. The prosactor had a field day after Johnny's interruption . It was like he was trying hard to get another profanity filled shout. He would look at the jury and Johnny when he made accusations, when he talked about Johnny,when he questioned witnesses. Johnny looked like he was trying to will the Prosecutor dead, I don't blame him, I hate him too. To his credit Johnny quietly listened to everything said about him and always looked his enemy in the eye. I often think that not looking guilty harmed Johnny's case but looking scared would not have helped either. When your wanted for mass murder, people will find a problem with everything thing you say and every expression you make. When on trail for anything, everything you say, do, don't say, , don't do, is heavily scrutinize and is considered wrong by many people.

Anyways, for many days I was in hell as the court dragged on and finally I was called to testify.

"Your honor I call Lisa Carter to the stand."

I was sworn in "Miss Carter what is your relationship to my client?"

I could feel the atmosphere change the tension rose "I am his friend we are close like a brother/sister relationship."

People in the court room actually gasped and whispers were turning louder and louder the Judge got the courtroom under control and the trail continued.

"Are you in fact his sister?"

What a dumb question, of course am not really his sister or I would have said 'I am his sister we are really close.' "No, am not." I said.

"How long have you know the defendant?"

"For most of my life, about 19 years from the time I was six."

"But your not really sure?" He asked with a strange smirk

"No, I don't mark my calendars when I met someone new."

I heard a few chuckles but what everyone heard was the manic laughter from Johnny.

"I will have order! Mr. Valdez control your client!" The Judge, honorable Judge Charles Brown banged his gavel harshly.

And Johnny gave me a look and I knew what he was thinking 'As if I can be controlled.' I was sad, it made my heart hurt to think he was still being definite in any way. I tried giving him a look that would convey my feelings. 'Johnny your hurting yourself by acting this way.'

Johnny got the message, he turned to face forward and remained calm for the rest of the day. I was so proud, and at that moment I felt like he had a real chance at the best out come he could get. But the next day 'experts' from both sides were called to give their findings to the court and have the jury listen to their opinions. It was the that I felt sick and angry and I felt that Johnny's chances of not being exacted were very small.


End file.
